” If most of your time is spent giving to others. If you are usually the person in your relationships that plays the *giver* role. If people always come to you for help. If your identity surrounds giving to others. There is a chance that your feelings of *unworthiness* are masquerading as a desire to help and that part of you is *proving* your worth by over-giving.”
This used to be my story and I didn’t even know it until a couple years ago. I started listening to people as a child and teenager people would come to me with their issues and of course when it wasn’t about me I had great clarity…smile emoticon As far back as I can remember I was always engaged in helping someone. This is great but I didn’t know that one of the driving forces of my giving was feeling unworthy. It was buried deep down and started in childhood.
I think all Professional people and people that consider themselves in the *healing arts* should consider this because it is important to keep balanced energy if you are going to continue a career like I have over a long period of time. By no means am I saying that you should stop what your doing. But I am saying if you find yourself *always* volunteering to give and this is a strong role for you that in honoring yourself you look at your motives. I see a lot of lightworkers with almost an urgency to give…Whats is the urgency about?
Saying “no” to people is such a pleasure now. I have opted out of all relationships that aren’t balanced and where I was engaged in *helping* People that knew me when I was over helping sometimes still ask me for help… I just say “Nope” and they seemed shocked…loll I don’t owe them anything. heart emoticon
This doesnt change who I am or the fact that I am a Therapist/Lifecoach but in fact it makes me a better one. I have good boundaries and I use them without a second thought. And I can heal the feelings of unworthiness and the need to prove myself in anyway.
Is this you? Does this fit for you?