Is there a cost to being Spiritual?

For as long as I can remember I have felt like I have an invisible shield around myself. Like I am once removed from everything else on the planet. We might say this is because I originated from a certain Angel realm or Alien realm and truly AM a bit different from others. I don’t know how much you have looked into this..(haha) but as part of my journey I have. But… I am in a human body regardless of my origin and I am here to have this human experience.

The Observer

When I am put into a new social situation I am naturally the quiet *observer* watching everyone taking in the energy..reading people..my intuition is like a radar and I am often going right to core of people. It’s not that I set out to do this…its just me. It is helpful in working with others…sometimes I am right about what is at their core and sometimes I am not. On the other hand it keeps me once removed from others though and from a human perspective I sometimes use it as  a way to protect myself…a defense used to figure things out in advance… so I can know whats coming.

 

A long with this way of being in the world I would say I have always had a Spiritual orientation. In other words, I have always been asking the big questions; Why are we here?  What is my purpose? What is beyond this physical experience? When I was a young 20 something I began reading all the material I could get my hands on to answer these questions..and this put me on the quest of a lifetime. I cared little about the trivial matters of everyday life and the normal conventions that others were wrapped up in. I was more concerned with answering my questions and delving deeper into this path. For me there seemed to be an urgency to it…  I am excited to share more about this with you when I start writing the book I am planning on starting this year.

Interpretation of Spiritual

Being this once removed, Spiritual person,(freak) haha, quietly moving through life..propelled me to interpret this independent way of being in the world as this was how it is and has to be when your deeply spiritual *old soul*  like I am. Being me, in this way has had both advantages and disadvantages. I am without a doubt independent, self sufficient and strong and well developed in many ways. But I also see how it’s kept me from experiencing some of the depth of my own humanity…When  you go into relationships and situations believing that you can see through everything and what the obstacles might be and feeling as if you *know* how things will turn out..it keeps you from going down a lot of roads that may have allowed for deeper connections with people.

Integration of Higher and Lower self…

Integration of my human self and spiritual self  where I am at today. Integration of my lower and higher self. Its no mistake that I am a Therapist..as I myself  will admit I don’t like feeling my own pain and so some how in processing pain with other people and seeing theirs has made mine ok. Feeling my own pain is not  easy for me (as its not for anyone)As of now I am still working on accepting my shadow side … I  do still carry some  unprocessed pain from my childhood and have more work to do with this…I am not looking forward to it.

Determined to integrate…

 

I am determined not to miss connections with people because I think I may  know how things will turn out. I am determined to allow myself to be more vulnerable and risk looking weak…I understand now that other people do not really judge me if they see my more vulnerable side..its me thats judging me. I want to experience all the things I have kept myself from thus far and feel more balanced in this human experience.

How do you view your own journey? Has there been  a sense of isolation and invisible shield for you?…  I would love to hear about it your journey ❤ ❤

Thanks for sharing this sacred space with me!!!Image

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4 thoughts on “Is there a cost to being Spiritual?

  1. Hi Renae!

    First of all, I love the “ae” combination in names, it’s a little odd, but it’s important in my life. Second, I love the thinking here and the questions. I have struggled with isolation in many ways, but, in some ways, I seek it. I’ve spent a number of years trying to understand what I define as a pivotal series of experiences and a shift that opened up immense blessings in my life. I have written a memoir and I’m looking for a publisher. I have a couple of recent posts that you might find of interest. My “About” page and “A Feminist’s Spiritual Journey: An Unexpected, Important Story.” A couple of my site pages are in progress, I’m reworking my Book page and I have a really exciting story to post in the next day or so.

    I love the thinking on this and your Bubblegum post. I’ll follow on Twitter and FB!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Renae,
    I cannot help but feel you were reading from my own thoughts and emotions. I had said all these things to my youngest daughter. I know I am an empath and every time I walk into a room every emotion and secrete hidden ones come at me. I can tell if someone is lying or withhold something, occasionally I can read their minds as well. I stay close to home and made my own tranquil place of my room to reflect and block out these intrusions into m head and body because I also feel the sickness of others that are really ill. I’ve never felt as if I belong here, and always felt like an outsider even in m own family, and have even asked to go home even though I was at home. I’ve had dreams and symbols given to me and don’t know what they mean, but I know my reason for being here and stopped asking o go home for now. I am to be a healer and a guide, I am a observer of life and protector, but have no clue how to do it all. Ask me about my Dream to being lifted up into the sky within the famous inca structure. Thanks for sharing.
    Namaste
    ALICIA ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for sharing Alicia…yes me too.. I pick up on everyones energy in the room..whether I want to or not…When someone walks into my office I sometimes know their problem before they even sit down..its amazing. I cant do this all the time..and thats fine with me…lolll Thankfully I learned to focus on my own happiness and energy so I can now redirect my attn back to myself and have a happy life. I definately came into the world *hard wired* to help ❤ ❤ I am glad we are all connecting at this time..Namaste

    Like

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