Don’t label your experiences too soon.
Let’s say your wanting to meet a special partner and get married. You really feel ready. You are in a good place in your life and you are sure this is what you are wanting to focus on next. You know the type of person you want to meet. You want them to have certain values, a certain level of education or not, a particular religious affiliation or to be non-religious, you want them to be very active, social etc. You are so clear that you join an online dating service and look for these specific characteristics in dating profiles.
You go out and meet a couple people that aren’t really right for you…Then third person you go to meet has the exact matching criteria in their profile you are looking for and you are also attracted to their picture. Oh my god…you think to yourself; this is it,this is the person for me. Your sold on them on an emotional level before you even go to meet them. *MISTAKE******
Give yourself time to take everything in.
When you do meet them they tell you everything about themselves and seem to act like you two are in a relationship already before the first date is even over. You have sinking feeling inside .. BUT you tell yourself it doesn’t matter because they meet *all* the things you would ever want and your *ready* for a relationship right now, so you convince yourself they *are* the one…and you brush off that feeling. You then go on to develop a deeper relationship and connection with them and he/she begins to speak of serious commitment like you have been wanting, they want to move in and/or to get married as soon as possible. You feel kind of rushed but think; yes this *has* to be the person for me because they are everything I am looking for and I am ready now.
Listen to your inner voice…always
As a Therapist, one of the biggest mistakes I see people making in their relationships is people assume because the relationship has entered their life that it must be, has to be what they are wanting for the long term and so they STOP listening to their inner voice that is trying to tell them that this might not be the person..they just forge ahead, have the relationship and even marry the WRONG person because that person meets all the outer criteria. Only later to find out…that the person is not emotionally available or stable, or has a different long term plan for their life.
If you stay in touch with your inner being you will be picking up on flags that this might not be the person for you right away if there are any. By listening and honoring what you see all along you save yourself time and needless heartache later on. It’s when we decide early on what experiences are before they have fully unfolded and remain detached from ourselves that we set ourselves up to be blindsided later on.
Life seeks to help us heal
Alot of our experiences come into our lives to help us see what we need to heal in ourselves. So who shows up to have a relationship for example, may be there to bring your wounds to the surface so that you can heal and become more ready for the more lasting relationship you are seeking and not necessarily the one with whom you can have a lasting relationship with. It is indeed an important relationship but not in the way you thought. This is why it can be important to hold off on labeling an experience and allow the relationship to fully unfold.
Allow life to teach you…
Taking time to take to interpret new relationships is just one example, this same thing is true of any new experience that we might encounter. Giving ourselves time to take in what an experience has come to teach us instead of labeling what it *appears* to be on the surface will allow us to lead a more peaceful existence and feel more in charge of our destiny. Life brings us what we need to evolve and each experience serves a purpose toward that evolution. If your focus can be “what is this experience teaching me?” then you will remain in your truth.
Would love to hear from you…Contact me at Createfate12@Gmail.comfor help on your healing journey.