What you repress becomes stress…In the past couple of weeks I have been experiencing symptoms of stress and fear. For myself, like all people, we have *everyday* type of stress. But this time for me, its bigger than that.A couple of weeks ago I found out about some job changes on my current job. Suddenly my schedule was changed and I have no recourse. I have a Union but they were not able to help me. This on top of trying to find a job in a new location, make a major move and deal with some ongoing family issues. How will I do it all? How will I be able to function with the hours that are going to be required of me AND make a major move. Why now, at a time where I am just looking for a peaceful transition to what is next? Yikes!!!!
I normally feel *together* and *on top of things* *in control* of my life but somehow this makes me afraid that I won’t be able to do it all and function as well as I normally do. My mind is spinning with fearful thoughts…and I hate it, as normally this is not my state of being. I hate my boss for imposing this on me…Its his fault…lolll of course its not but this is the thinking I am allowing.
My inclination is to keep it to myself because I don’t want to bother anyone and I am used to being on the *helper* side of situations and not the taker…I know better though. When I was younger I would have never asked for help, I would have just done the hours without asking for change. I know that I don’t want to experience the stress that comes with repressing my own needs so I know I will ask for change.
We wear certain social masks at work under the label of “Professionalism” and even in some relationships where we don’t feel o.k. about exposing our vulnerabilities we wear a social veneer that says “I am in control” “Everything is great in my world” Over the past couple of years I have begun questioning this label of *Professionalism* and wonder if we wouldn’t be better off in work situations just bringing our *real* selves to the table. What would this look like? Would we wear our sweat pants to work? Come to work crying? For some people this is unimaginable. Why? Would we be less productive?
Productivity in the workplace is affected by all the things we deal with outside of work whether we wear business suits or sweats. I guess I don’t like the facade and implication of perfection that *professionalism* implies. What are your feelings around this?
Opting to vent…
I know for me…as my emotions well up I do need to express them with someone..as unruly and inconvenient as they are I believe that what I repress will manifest initially as: headaches, compromised immune system: colds, flu etc. and then over the long term I believe unexpressed feelings become something more serious such as; Cancer, Heart disease, Diabetes, Clinical Depression, Anxiety Disorders etc. I don’t want that. I will embrace my humaness and frailties and process aloud so as to avoid the dis-ease in my Mind/Body/Spirit.
Join me in processing through your feelings and claiming this process as what is truly healthy!!